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I hereby bequeath…
To Kendall Santos, I leave the kickball team. Please, protect the flag at all costs and make Kelso proud. To my favorite queen, Josh Wallin, I leave you my short-lived reign of the Porthole. You are queen now, rule wisely. To John O’Melveny I leave the power of the handshake. Be careful out there kid, don’t do anything I wouldn’t do ;). Last but definitely not least, to Lindsey I leave the most important thing of all: what’s left of my dignity. God knows you’ll need it. Stay strong and power through baby…you’re halfway there!
I would like to leave locker 2-561 with the everlasting smell of my salad dressing. Underclassmen, I give you Mr. Hulse…he is yours now. Mrs. Coghill, I give you my Hamlet essay to keep forever and ever. Christopher Hampson, I’ll save my mini shakas only for you.
I would like to leave Brisa Romero the heading of many MANY soccer balls and for Camryn Marshall, an endless amount of dance moves on the field. Sofia Montgomery and Taylor Graham, I leave you my excessive sass, laughter, and stress. And lastly to Eve Roche, I give you all my love because you are actually the sweetest angel.
I would like to leave my room, all the mac ‘n cheese after school, and all my love to Ashley Arsenault. I would also like to leave morning car rides and DJing to Ashley and Izzy Haigg. To Cameron Marshall, I leave my eye rolls toward a man whose name rhymes with maid and a completed senior soccer season. Lastly, to Ella Lydecker, I leave Red Baron Pizza and movie nights.
I’d like to leave the responsibility of making math memes to Ava Raymer. To (baby) Mia Selvan I leave all my essential oils. Ava Darr, I leave all the tea and the ghosts that hopefully don’t follow me to college. To Savanah Foote I leave all my veggie grill fries. To Remy Charles, I leave you my clout… use it wisely.
First and foremost, I leave my heart and soul to Adler Zachary. Jack Fallon, I leave you my love for physics and my fear of eggs. Maile McKeown, I leave you my large ASU binders. Wyatt Gouger and Aedan Anderson, I leave you guys endless hugs. Mason Grey, I leave you my sunscreen and tampons. Cris Torres, I leave you my Harmony Tea Bar addiction. Ryan Broadhead, I leave you my amazing banjo playing skills. To my little brother, Kai Brackenridge, I leave you my legacy.
I leave the captainship of the Dana Rugby Football Club to Nolan Campbell.
To Remy Charles, I’d like to give yourself MY stage.
I would like to leave Danny Cullen a single sharpie so he can draw tattoos on everyone in the country. To my sister Ella I leave my beautiful car, Kylie. To my soccer biddies and Camryn Marshall specifically I leave the varsity soccer team with the expectation of actually winning next year. To Amanda DeGeorge I leave all of the flamas at Dana Hills High School so she can feast during 4th period. To Ryan Lewis I leave all my amazing ceramics work to remember me. To Reagan Zaherek I leave my love forever and ever.
I, Meredith, leave to April both Cabinet battles. To Lilly I give you an Unclouded Day, and other Lilly Disney Bier. To Chloe I leave Archive of Our Own- use it wisely. To Kira, I grant you my eternal sleep deprivation- have fun with that! Finally, Andrew I ban you from all pumpkins (You know what you did). Pice, Y’all
To Christian Wagener I leave the ability to say hello. To Bo Bateson I leave my name and my cowboy hat. To Landon Otsuji I leave my sass.
I shall be ever so generously handing down the position of funniest member on the Improv Team to Jean Pierre Granados. To Lindsey Nielsen I give you the night; it is yours now, no one else will harness the dark magic that is the hours of 11 PM – 5 AM the way you will. For Andrew Guthary I leave you my ability to produce milk. Evan Gordon and Ty Sterling, I give you my genius to make another absolute masterpiece of a play. Cody Harrison, you can have my title as greatest dancer in the universe. Jack Deveny, I am blessing you with my gift of being a ladies man. Sebastian Barbecue and Trey Michimichanga, I give you this macadamia nut I just found…Use it wisely. Casey Peacock, you get to have my backpack. Cole Casazza, my left arm now belongs to you. Owen Zajac, I give you my ankles. Josh Wallin, I found this orange in my fridge like an hour ago, that’s all for you. Benna Marie, head nod, head nod, head nod. Matthew Pool, I found you some sand. Logan Gonzalez, have this In-N-Out gift card. I don’t think it has any money on it. Lilly Weber and Kendall Santos, I have some stickers for you guys. Mia Selvan, I’m sitting next to some sticky notes, they belong to you now. April you can have my Captain Underpants collection. Katherine Robinson, I leave you my Blu-Ray copy of Meet the Robinsons.
Josephaki mou (Joseph Domingot), I leave you my car, all the Greek music I have, and La Romana so the car can shake profusely when the base of “fuego fuego, fire fire” hits. Also take care of Kat, we all know she needs to be watched over. Have fun in your last two years of high school, I will miss you in Chicago. Σ’ αγαπώ πάρα πολύ!
To Matthew Sargent I leave the job of asking for Ned’s keys or forcing Aedan to get them (or perhaps a rookie freshman). I can’t really give you anything else because you have all the better equipment. Oh and enjoy your new position on ASU. To Max Upp and Coco Waszak I leave my dad sunglasses. They’re not Ray-Bans (Max, you will need to find someone to say “What’s up boss?” to). Even though you won’t need it, I leave you sunscreen bottles. Victoria Euyoque, I leave the difficulty of finding a funny ginger kid again. D’mitri Meyer, I’m giving you limitless ideas for Dana Hills memes. To Aedan Anderson, I hope you enjoy being the only Aedan/Aidan/Aiden in ASU. To Kira Hudson and Alyssa Hollister, I leave a computer space in the production room, and someone else to grab the hotspot. To Jake Greenbaum I leave my best wishes for you as the new ASU VP. To Chloe Duffield, Nate Martin, Tari Furman, and Miles Ettinger, I leave you someone else to bequeath the legendary title of “Scapegoat.” Good luck. To Jason Stange and Michael Friend, I leave the DHHS Orchestra. Luke Csermak, enjoy my spot in the seating. I know you’ll be a great leader. To Ella Donovan, I leave the keys to my car. Eventually. You can finally start doing my chores! Hooray!
I leave the improv team to Josh Wallin and Jack Devenny. Take care of her.
First and foremost I’m leaving the Sports Section of the newspaper to Jack Fallon. This section can be wild to be in charge of but I know you’re going to do great. Secondly I’d like to leave my late night Starbucks to Sofia Ciraulo. Running a newspaper is going to be exhausting and you’re going to need all the caffeine you can get, I’m going to miss you so much. Thirdly, I leave my love for Holden Caulfield to Azadeh Nicholson. I’m still holding out hope you’ll become a Holden lover one day. Lastly I leave my room and the rest of my belongings to my sister Katey Eichenbaum. Have fun stealing all the clothes I leave behind, I love you and remember I’m always a phone call away.
I would like to leave Abby Keating the stringy ends of the athletic tape we used in Sports Med, and to Rachel Kupfer-Weinstein I leave all the the pre-calc assignments I didn’t do correctly.
I, Kat Ferrier, leave Kaycie Rippe pom-poms, sparkles, and all my love. I would like to leave Eve Viramontes and Kylie Rippe hair bows. To Helena Shaver, I give you the love of chemistry. I leave Caroline Craven a video camera. To Kasey Rocha, I leave you the Make a Wish Club.
I would like to leave my Dolphin socks, blue Jesus sandals, dream of a Dolphin fanny pack, and Jake Ward’s sacred tent to Sydney Querner. Lucy Kao, I give you all my tech suits since you already ripped one. Anna Nemeth, I would like to give you my hoop earrings. Luke Malecka I give you my “woah” skills. Brody Sullivan I leave you Baja. Ashley Arsenault, I leave you all of your makeup I used over the years, Amanda’s car, and my boy problems. Lastly, I give Ryan Abdollahi the Dana Hills Swim Team (I don’t know if I have the authority to do this), all the wins in the 100 breaststroke at dual meets, and my whole heart.
I, Emma Freeman, would like to leave my car and the Freeman family name to Camille and Lily Freeman. I would also like to give the responsibility of watching Camille Freeman to Omar Garcia. I give my love and support to Star and Sky Thomas. I leave all the dogs of Orange County to Carrick Denker. I leave Danny Cullen all my dance moves. And finally, my heart and soul I leave for my twin, Audrey Lambros.
To Claire Valian, I leave my heavily used AP review books, and any of the school supplies that my senioritis didn’t force me to throw away. To Lila Day, I leave an endless supply of chips like the ones I bought her that one time in fourth period. Ryan Broadhead can have the guitar and harmonica that I played once, and Malia Hudson can have all of my reptiles that she loved so much. Lastly, to Anna Fodor, my dignity, for seeing me in the best and worst of times. Do with it what you will.
To Peri Halajian and Abby Keating, I leave Dance Production and the courage to lead it (take care of Mrs. Lee for me). To Erin Wall, I leave DevaCurl and the heart and soul of Dance Ensemble. To Lindsey Nielsen, I leave harmonizing abilities, Yeezy dance moves, and Robert. To Mia Selvan, I leave being choreographer of the musicals (bring home that Cappie, girlfriend). To Susan Hernandez, I leave a Rolley Rolley and the weapons of sarcasm and a death drop. To Lily Lawsin, I leave radiance and smiles. To Benna Spotts, I leave a foopoon and cat sweaters.
To Lola Holtby and Jackie Stillwell I leave the legacy of Dana Softball. To Piper Tago I leave the legacy of carrying on my dance moves.To Chloe Depierro I leave all our camping trips and memories growing up together.And lastly to Kaci Palmer, Mikayla Collins and Hannah Hallis I leave my entire heart.
I, Sammy Harris, am leaving my whole heart to Ali Aga, because I know she gets annoyed with her own sometimes. To Caroline Alleman, I leave my Post Malone and Justin Bieber playlists for practice. GG Banducci, I leave you with my horrific jokes that you claim are funny. Malia Rivera and Layla Gravelle, I leave you two each other, to COMPLETELY even out each other’s personalities. Lastly, I obviously leave Aidan Rice with Dolly the Dolphin and my never-ending crush on Carrick Denker. To the whole tennis team, I leave you all with every single one of my accents. I love you all too much.
To Mia Lawrence, I leave Mar y Tierra burritos from Lupe’s, half eaten Belvita bars, Grinch walks, and out-of-state license plates. To Camryn Toole, I leave AMP appointments. To Ryan Broadhead, I leave the important job of taking care of my brother. To Anna Fodor, I leave curly fries. To Felicia White, I leave the title of team mom. To Iman Keyvan, I leave Leila’s car. To Ashley Arsenault, I leave the Diablos. To John O’Melveny, I leave all the penguins that go to the moon. To Caitlyn Fergason, I leave $20 plus interest that I owe from June 5th of 2018. To Danny Cullen, I leave a new pair of plaid pajama pants. To Carrick Denker, I leave every single Logic song, the acai bowls you will never try, my dog, and my heart.
I, Joe Heneghan, leave to Frankie Luizzi, my smallest son, the fifteen pounds I’ve put on since quitting water polo, since God knows he needs it more than I do. To Michael Friend, my eldest son, I leave my apathy for homework, beacuse the boy needs to chill out. To Charlie Gravitt, my curliest son, I leave [REDACTED], and to Ethan Ramirez and Aiden Mathes, my sons from the water, my spot on the bench and my lifeguarding stories nobody wanted to hear in Marine. Last but not least, to my cutest son (I know, kinda sus), Curren McCarthy, I leave my hair.
To Mia Lawrence, I leave my love of Pressed Juicery. To Landon Otsuji, I leave a pack of La Croix.
To Miles Ettinger, I leave a firm handshake. To Lindsey Nielsen, I leave you the trauma of my words. To Jack Devenny, I leave you my SoundCloud. Your taste in music sucks. For Tim Conry, I leave you my first name AND my middle name. To Evan Gordon, I leave you $5. To Josh Wallin, I leave you my hair dye. Use it responsibly. And lastly, to Kate Van Hoomissen, I leave you a bar that I have set extremely low with Mom and Dad. You’re welcome.
––Tim Van Hoomissen
I, Ashley Hudson, would like to leave all of the Bear Coast chai’s in the world and my dented car to Malia Hudson. Gunner Zoch, I leave you with my parking spot for your vintage whip. And to Chase Morrison, I leave you my Marine notes and every marine intro to ever exist. Makayla Caliendo, I leave you with all my memories from Mariners. For Katie Hoagland and Kelly Rogers, I grant you the responsibility of controlling Malia- good luck.
To Carrick Denker and Jack Fallon, I leave my vast collection of du-rags, so mans can get wavy. Stay Curvy. To Nolan Campbell, I leave my playlist of Marvin’ Room on repeat for 350 hours. To Ryan Abdollahi, I leave care of my brother. And to my brother, I leave the legacy of 5 GVNG. Don’t let me down.
To my brother Jared, I leave my car and the struggle of entertaining the family. To Maddie Breck, I leave the lacrosse team, specifically D-Squad and being the cripple of the team. To Gavin Ward, I leave yelling “car” while playing in the street, and being the oldest in the neighborhood (you’ll always be a part of it as far as I’m concerned). Finally, to Maddie Mairs, I leave you Brucksy’s baking.
I would like to leave the broken locker, Dallas, Tyler, sea salt caramel KIND bars, and half of my brain to Kianna Keeling. To Hunter Riedl I leave the Kia Soul and dank aux cord with it. To Nick Rigo I leave proper woah-ing skills. To Lola Holtby I leave ice and the waffle place. Chloe Duffield, I leave to you making sure our parents don’t get too crazy together. For Maura Hayes, eat all the glitter you can next year and kill it in VB. To Peyton Murray I leave the tiki hut at Three Arch (for now). Kianna, you must keep an eye on Peyton for me.
To Natalie Streed I leave my reliance on caffeine, Costco muffins, and the ability to procrastinate on anything and everything, including sleep. Sav, Kaycie, and Ava will receive my essential oils and instructions on how to make basic meals because even though you will try, you cannot survive off of stress and potato chips. Further, I regretfully release Abby from her pun and pickup line quota and give her the responsibility to fill in for me as her mom’s favorite child while I am gone. And to the entire junior class, I leave behind the reality of senioritis because it will slap you across the face second semester. I wish you luck.
To Marisa Gaitan, I leave my sass and my fly trap. To Anna Fodor, I leave my family vacations and face masks. To Felicia White, I leave you my role as “mom” and my all of my baking knowledge. To Alexa Karner, I leave my doctor’s contact info and all my love. To Eliza Brian and Jezra Simmons, I leave my Oreo obsession and my spontaneous road trips. To Malia Hudson, Katie Hoagland, Kassondra Kahle, and Kelly Rodgers, I leave my weird habits and my food addiction. To Iman Keyvan, I leave my car and secret candy stash. To Brandon Pizano, I leave my self esteem and procrastination skills. To Ryan Broadhead, I leave my brothers and my Billie Eilish playlist.
I would like to leave my senior parking spot and lack of motivation to Dayne Deantoni. I would also like to leave Gavin Lee my Minecraft chest with four diamonds and all the pork chops he can cook.
To Caden Jackson and Nick Rigo, I leave you the DHHS boys’ volleyball team, lead it well. To Cory Davidson, I leave you my Bing. To Cole Henderson, I leave you my dope fishing skills.
First things first, I’d like to pass on the legacy of the Likins name to the youngest Likins, Griffin. I leave the throne of Camp Boys to Clayton Vincent. To Adler Zachary and Justin Edward, I leave you two with carrying the polo team next year. Alex Brock, I leave you with automatic Wednesdays. And to everyone else, I leave you guys with the memories we have made.
To Sofia Ciraulo, I leave you the task of being the most stoic yet subtly hilarious member of THE PAPER, as well as a collection of Hulse-style Vans button ups. In addition, I leave to you a plethora of Lord of the Rings references; I know that when 706 calls for aid, Sofia shall answer. To Jack Fallon, I leave you the title of THE PAPER’S Official Elite Hacker/Webmaster, along with some extra cash I owe you and a framed portrait of Elon Musk. This is all in exchange for a guarantee of stock in your future advanced robotics company when you inevitably become the next Tony Stark. To Azadeh Nicholson, I leave you my bo staff, broadsword, kamas, and my entire knowledge of Taekwondo forms and a folding table hurled at your head. Lastly, I leave the incoming staff of THE PAPER Mr. Sampson. Handle with care.
To Danny Cullen I leave my endless ‘national days’ on the morning announcements (p.s. I make some of those up). To Lindsey Nielsen I leave female representation on the improv team and the ability to drive. To Glen Adcock I leave my dreams, see you there. To Izzy Gendreau I leave the sweet, sweet stress of activities.
To Emma Mason, I leave the blueprint to our new room, the keys to the ‘99 Corolla and the responsibility of taking care of mom while I’m gone. To the class of ‘21, I leave the burden of hanging out with Emma. To Sofia Ciraulo, I leave the duty of keeping room 706 orderly and keeping Tim Sampson sane (good luck). To Jack Fallon and Matt Sargeant, I leave incessant amounts of Venmo charges and my love for journalism. To the future staff of THE PAPER, I leave you faulty computers and the endless joy of late nights, distribution days and press deadlines.
To the twins, Reese and Vaughn, I leave you my heart that you will share (hopefully). Reese, I leave you my car and my ugly clothes that I won’t take with me. To Vaughn and Jake Stadlbauer, I leave you both Del Taco and blu. To Danny Cullen, I leave you all of my sharpies. To Gabby Wagenseller, I leave you with all my dresses. And Amanda DeGeorge, I leave you wholesome bowls.
To Adler Zachary I leave you an escape from Kiana’s love. Mason Grey I leave you all the boys that go to Saddleback, the job of petting my dogs, and the love for fifth period I never had. Finn Landgraf I leave all the shifts I never picked up at Harpoons and Tabi’s razor scooter that was passed on to me for graduation (it is now the honorary Poons grad scooter, pass it on wisely), and my unspoken but true love for you. Katie Bungee I leave you my top. JK sike. Emma Clark and Amanda DeGeorge, I leave you Bob Conrad.
To all of my teammates I leave my gum wall. Do what I could not and finish what I started. To Hannah Loftis, I leave the best cap number. To Jill Duarte I leave my back of the bus dance moves. To Paige Riester, I leave an ‘L’. To Emma Mason, if proven worthy, I leave my precious child, Amy-Anastasia. Lastly, to Sarah Kate Besanceney, I leave Damon Salvatore, carpool karaoke with Shawn, my Mammoth puzzle skills, my love for Thomas Rhett, caramel macchiatos (with extra caramel) and my rooster driving companion to watch over you and Tank. And of course if you ever miss me, I leave you a blanket with my face on it.
To Kianna Keeling I leave Dally, being late, my vsco, my amazing personality and the jserra guys. To Caitlyn Ferguson I leave no water, the sumo guy, my instagram, and the blonde rugby player’s annual birthday letter. To Morgan I leave shy. To John O’Melveny I leave my ski pass and car keys. To Jack Fallon I leave my natural genius. Shadan Rahmani do not use bad words.
To my sophomore track biddies, I leave you endless meets, laughs, adventures, and the ability to evade 6th period roll call. To Kendal Metz, I leave you our early mornings in the car and a weird variety of music. To Emma Mason I leave you a Mitchell sweatshirt and the harsh reality of being related to Sam Mason. And finally to the underclassmen who are carrying on our bowling tradition, I leave you 11 PM folding and 6 AM distribution. 🙂
I leave everything of importance to Susan Hernandez. I also would like to leave my sanity and proper functionality of both wrists to Mrs. Lee in the dance room.
I would like to leave my one good knee and my cleats to Caite Ferguson. Malia Hudson may have my dance moves, my sass, and my middle child syndrome. For my brother, Chase Morrison, I’d like to leave my common sense, my CLEAN car, and my parking spot… and for all of you, I leave my love.
To Katie Bungee, I leave you my license and my love for pep squad. To Adler Zachary, I leave you anything your heart desires. To Ashley Aresnault, I leave you all my guy friends and all my clothes. To Mason Grey, I leave you the ability to surf and all my love.
To Landon Otsuji, I leave my designer clothes. To Logan Jenner, I leave my meme account. To Austin Jenner, I leave my cat Poppy. To Christian Wagener, I leave my potato peeler. To Malia Hudson, I leave my Baja mems.
To Malia Hudson, I leave you my phone number in case of emergency and my common sense (please use it). To Iman Keyvan, I leave my best friend. To Avery Karner, I leave my laziness and sarcasm.
To Avery Karner, I leave my hatred for pole vaulting and the title of Captain. Izzy Gengreau, I give you the strength to survive another year of ASU without me. Nolan Campbell and Austin Jenner, I leave you each others names cause neither of you ever PR’d enough to impress me. To Reese McCarter, I leave you a cure for your narcolepsy and the title of Assistant Captain. To Chloe Duffield, you get every single episode I’ve ever made (there’s about six). To Olivia Paquette, I leave you actually good diving skills so that one day you can maybe improve. To Anna Fodor, I give you my good looks so that you can stop being jealous. And lastly, to Coco Waszak and Max Upp, I give you my blessing.
To Matthew Sargent, I leave my hope for the future. To D’mitri Meyer, I leave the Committee of Technologies. To Izzy Gendreau, I leave my angry voice. To Jake Greenbaum, I leave all my unfulfilled dreams for ASU. To Max Upp, I leave the ability to steal-yo-girl. To Olivia O’Malley, I leave my temper, to balance her passion. To Kanoa Perman, I leave my humility and my respect. To Aedan Anderson, I leave the second chair, believing in him to lead from it. To Wyatt Gouger, I leave my teenage rebellion. To JT Williams, I leave the habit of asking forgiveness. To Douglas Buie, I leave my dedication to the service of our school. To Lucia Curran, I leave the impression that I know what I’m doing, because sometimes you have to fake it til you make it. To Sean Hu, I leave every confused look I’ve gotten at Dana.
I, Sierra Repp, would like to bestow Danny Cullen literally everything I own. That’s all.
To the Dana Hills aquatics program (Carrie Pierce), I leave my legacy. #8 And don’t ever forget: it’s always ring szn. To Lucy Kao, I leave my impeccable music taste and every Spotify playlist I own. Use them wisely. To Katster Besanceny, I leave endless smiles and all my water polo skills. I trust that you’ll make me proud with them. And please, go do what I unfortunately never could. Go get that ring. To Jules Mckenzie, I leave Emma. Please take care of her, we both know she’s not capable of doing that herself. And lastly, but certainly not least, to Emma Mason I leave all the pink drinks in the world, endless rides in my Jeep, every sunset that Dana point has to offer, and 227.9 miles worth of gas so that you can come see me whenever your heart desires.
I, Kaitlyn Rice, leave to Audrey Lambros my heart and soul. To Danny Cullen, I leave Agia and all its glory. And last but certainly not least, to Chloe Depierro, I leave my incredible judgement.
I leave Audrey Lambros my name along with the greatest handshake ever made. To Izzy, Colton, Colin, and Trevor, I leave the job of keeping the best psych group together. Lily Lawsin, I leave you annotated books and my whole heart. Last but definitely not least, I leave Jonah Ahad my Venmo account, thanks for always pulling through.
To Camryn Marshall and Brisa Romero, I leave all the ankle tape in the world, redemption, and the championship court in soccer tennis. To Mason Grey, I leave our favorite brand of sunscreen, Taco Bell Fiesta Packs, and every tear I shed for Sam Hunt. Anna Nemeth, I pass down my ceremonial shed key and Recognitions’ love. Wyatt Gouger and Aedan Anderson, I leave you with endless hugs and enough dirty looks to last a lifetime. My winning status in Words with Friends and Battleship goes to Ben Wagner. And finally, to Helena and Ethan Shaver, I leave my whole heart and the Shaver family legacy.
To my sister I give my car, my undying love for country music, and my next year’s Stagecoach ticket. To pep squad I give my dedication and title as captain to be carried on by the incoming seniors. To Abby Keating I give my countless sarcastic remarks and my love for debates. To Emma, Audrey, Lily, and Whitney I give you my uniform, box, and poms. To production I give three camo rompers that I have had since freshman year. To Dana Hills High School I give my love because I have made friends for life and memories that I will never forget.
I leave my parking pass and the spot right outside of the senior lot to my sister Olivia. In order to obtain this spot you must to arrive to school bright and early before zero period in the Snyder family car “Hank.”
To Jehsica Castle, I leave mine and Minna’s duty as the DJ for the girls’ bus. To Gaby Hernandez, I leave the double turn around, the triple and quad on rifle, and some ice. To Glenn Adcock, I leave the woodwind laser tag events. To Collin Lucich, I leave “Dr. Burton Lucich Chiropractic Center: (949) 240-6422” and the woodwinds, please take care of them. To CJ Porter, Ryan Avillanoza, Collin Lucich, and Erin Calder, I leave the original question time group and Denny’s. To Paulina Puente, I leave my marching band backpack with everything anyone could ever need in the hopes that you’ll find a use for it in band. To Jen Maitino and Liam Adcock, I leave my white gloves and the met. To my niece-y Erin Calder, I leave a lifetime of hehes. To Mary Robinson, I leave my insanely mediocre bowling skills and my sabre. To the Core 5 (Fabiola Garcia, Mary Robinson, Daniela Quiroga, and Eden Eidsvold), I leave tea time. To my babies, Henry Jung and Natasha Shetty, I leave the flute section and flute shirts to be taken care of. Make sure to raise the new flutes as well as––if not better than––I raised you two. To Megan Seals, I leave the musicals (and the flute perch), the croissants, double Roger and double Mr. C, my obsessive make-up collection, and my addiction to online shopping. To Jennifer Maitino, I leave my resident “band mom” title, and I leave my job as hypeman of the girls’ bus. To Fabiola Garcia, my love/my daughter, I leave Riverdale, Team Rafael, Ansel Elgort, crazy conspiracy theories, and my phone number to call me anytime. Everything else, I leave to room 102.
To Lindsey Nielsen, I leave my crippling addiction to cold brew and Yeah! by Usher. To Mia Selvan, I leave my small white dog and the secret passcode to the SJH gate; keep her safe. To Kendall Santos, I leave all of the thespian gear in Sanford’s office. To Andrew Guthary, I give you the title of “Dom’s House.” To Rachel KW and Tristen Partain, I give you the constant fear that you lost Sanford’s keys. To Marina Kosor, I leave you the burden of being the SOCSA kid who went to CSS.
To Niloo Ebrahimi, Amy Liu, and other future officers, I leave the math club. Garrett, Kanoa, John, Curren, Caden, Aakrsh, Emeric, and everyone else who actively participated in math club this year, it’s up to you to keep math alive! Congratulations on another year and I can’t wait to see what you all do in the future. You’re such bright and friendly students, and I wish you all the best of luck 🙂
I, Paris Tran, would like to leave Claire Nelson and Jacqueline Renaud with my credit card to buy me a new wardrobe. To Aspen Cristobal, my heart. For Pierce Reed and Trevor Saline, I leave you guys with my mediocre photography and journalism skills. Finally, I would like to give Jesus Contreras my Lisa Frank stickers and light saber.
To Clayton I leave the last name Vincent to keep our legacy going. Chloe, I will leave for you my ability to make decent decisions in your last year of high school. Molly Bergman I leave you with my ability to park in the 4×4 spaces provided for us in the senior lot. Will Craven I will leave you my heart as it will come in handy when the height just isn’t there. To all my lax boys I leave you with my sophomore lax skills. To the class of 2020 I leave you my partner in crime Justin Edward to lead you in your adventures throughout senior year. To all others involved in my life as a Dana Hills student I leave you with the memories we have all made and I thank you all for the memories you have left with me.
I leave the mazdarati to Christian Wagener as well as Cookies and Christ. To Bo Bateson, I leave my cowboy boots. Ry Ry Pike, I leave you all the coolness I never possessed. To Sarah Kate, I leave you all my best buds and love! Lola Holtby, I leave you in charge of our precious halo. I leave Lindsey Healey with unlimited car rides to school. Lastly, I leave the muffin song to Landon Otsuji.
I bequeath my white drum major gloves to Liam and Jen. Also, I give to them my ability to completely wing it whenever someone asks me what we’re supposed to be doing.
To Alannah I leave the hood and the Green Prius. I leave Audrey my Docs and my vlogs/movies, and to Katie I leave my best outfits. Peri, Izzy, and Lily get the responsibility of Abby and Natalie. To Trevor Hyde I leave my mini skeleton and anatomy knowledge, and Paula gets Dance Concert (make it your show). Benna, Noelani, and Zoe get my Tiktok fans, and Abby gets all my puns.
I, Jeff Wind, bequeath the crown of “Cradle King” to Josh Harkey, may you bring honor to the throne. By the way, don’t kill Gavin when he’s mean to you during practice. He doesn’t mean it, probably. To my favorite feral son, Gavin Walker, I leave the responsibility of team jerk. Crack the whip whenever you think it’s necessary and of course, be mean to Josh when you guys wrestle. To my brother and favorite lifting partner, Eliseo Miramontes, I leave the mantle of designated DJ of the most important room at Dana Hills. Finally, to all my wrestlers, mentioned or not, I leave the responsibility of being better than all other athletes at Dana but never actually mentioning it. That is until some kid is like “wrestling is dumb,” in that case, invite them to practice so they can be your partner and then lat drop the wind out of them. Love, Dad
I would like to leave my ability to distinguish between red and green to Grant Reskey. I would like to leave Youssef Elshenawi my lab skills so you never trainwreck chad another lab. To Peri HaIajian and Lily Lawsin, I give the spot Maeve and I hold of iconic duo. To Noelani Bacon I leave all my memories from FMSD. To Lindsey Neilson, I give you all my cowboy emojis because I don’t want them. For helping me breathe, I give Lucas Pool my lungs. Dorothy Dade, you get Dana Hills. I would like to leave all my sneezes to Michael Friend so he can bless them. To Emeric Battaglia, I leave the Sign Language Club and the violin section. To Jason D-Strange, I leave my addiction to ditching class. To Austin Adujaili, I give my car and a new voice mailbox recording.
To Sofia, I leave this brilliant publication, my love and trust, the right to call me at any time of day or night, Trader Joes Goat Cheese Medallion spread, and my last brain cell. Use it to solve a problem you had no idea you were supposed to solve on your first late night. To Jack, I leave amazing work ethic so can continue to literally save newspaper with your amazing website, and the energy to make all your other amazing ideas happen. You a real one. Also, a du-rag. To Grace, Grant, Azadeh, John, and Spencer, I leave attention to detail and problem-solving skills. You’ll be amazing.
For my sweet Danny boy, I leave Tony’s arc reactor, Cap’s shield, and Peter’s suit.
To Olivia Wettengel, I leave Brett & Brandon, Google maps, fortissimo, a large slice of hula pie, and one of my brothers to marry, you pick. AND. The inimitable joy of dual stafferhood. Take good care of Sampson. To Elise Peterson I leave my endless love, Trilby, mad VSCO skills, and Nate Archibald. To Kelly Kartchner, I leave the amusing struggle of trying to convince people not everyone of our faith has blonde hair and blue eyes. Keep ASU in shape, you’re a boss. To Holland Hoopes, I leave President Nelson.
To Matthew Sargent, I leave a diamond-plated Tesla with Elon Musk’s autograph across the windshield. I ALSO LEAVE YOU THE QUOTEBOOK. This is a sacred responsibility. Do not fail. To Julia Jacques, I leave Samps’ sideways glances to see if his joke was funny. I also give you endless patience, for when the jokes are not, in fact, funny. To Cris and Chloe, I leave you the responsibility of being the new Mary & Barta. I leave Mike Wigglesworth whatever drop of sanity he has left after this year’s sixth period. Lastly, to Mr. Thompson, I leave Jane.